Pirates just wanna have fun
by LoveJackSparrow
Summary: Well first off I don't know about the rating might change later. Anyway this is a spoof on various scenes from the movie. somtimes there will be one story somtimes more just depends on 2 things. If I feel like it. 2. if I get reviews!Reviews Modivate Me!
1. Default Chapter

Pirates just wanna have fun  
  
Alright you POTC diehard fans this is for you. Now this is a really Stupid story but it's a good kind of stupid. I am going to make fun of various scenes from the movie in no particular order now since this is going to be a sort of weird tale kind of stories thingy I will be like the crypt keeper right...right? Well anyway that's what I am going to be now enjoy your first bone chilling tale...er... I mean funny story thingy....I guess.  
  
Well it was 1656, and the wind was a blowing when the first mate came out and said to the captain  
"We should drop canvas sir."  
  
"She can hold it a bit longer." He said trying to say it over the wind  
  
"Captain what is it in your head that has put you in such a fine mood as this?  
  
"I switched my ship insurance to geico!...OH and were catching up."  
  
(A/N plus have to do this for advertising sake "Geico, a call of fifteen minutes could save you 15% or more on ship insurance)  
  
"...." (stares as he is crazy) Okay... I will go tie the ropes down now"  
  
he says almost backing away in horror. While Jack is in a very happy mood one since he switched boat insurance he saves tons of doubloons! Also he found his hat that he was looking for, for about a week under his bed. AND he made out with the authoress and authoresses friend before hand wink wink  
  
Well kitties did that make you stare in horror just see the next one... (Bone chilling laugh)  
  
A weak point in a relationship  
  
"Were devils were black sheep were really bad eggs drink up me herties yo ho!"  
  
Elizabeth and Jack are dancing around the huge bon fire that they created while being dreadfully drunk.  
  
"It must have been dreadful for you to be stuck on this island Jack."  
  
"Oh yes but the company is infamously better than last time and the scenery has defiantly improved..."  
  
"Why not Jack Will is gone probably dead why not"  
  
The Next Day   
  
Elizabeth wakes up to find Jack sleeping right next to each other after the night before.  
  
"God Jack that was amazing" Elizabeth says to herself  
  
Jack is talking in his sleep Elizabeth leans in to get a better listen..  
  
"MMM... Smithy that's a good spot rub right there at the shoulder blade."  
  
"WHAT JACK WHAT THE F!"  
  
"Hmm? What! Were's the fire!  
  
"What the hell Jack who is SMITHY?"  
  
"How did you know about Smithy?"  
  
"You were talking about Smithy in your sleep!"  
  
"Well I guess its time to come clean... Elizabeth I'm not just attracted to women..."  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" The authoress wakes up in a cold sweat saying that she should stop eating popcorn before going to sleep.  
  
She Turns on the T.V. and turns on M.T.V. and the 10 to the hour news is on she turns it up..... "Well kids I know this is a shoker to you all but you all are not going to believe this but Johnny Depp just came out of the closet conferming that she is bisexual."  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"  
  
Well kittys that was scary if I do say so myself.... Next story  
  
Jack had just jumped off the cliff...he hit the water with a splash.  
  
"Jack! Get your butt on your ship and steer the damn thing! IT's Your ship!" Animaria yelled in a sisterly way  
  
Jack muttered to himself..."God she yelles at me like she's my sister...sometimes I wonder....."  
  
Just then when he made it to the ship they threw down the rope and was pulled up.  
  
"Why didn't you come back sooner!" animaria yelled  
  
"Well who left me at Isle De Muerta?!"  
  
Animaria pointed behind her....there was Gibbs  
  
"Gibbs you?" Jack said as almost in heartbreak he was about to tear up  
  
"NO! Jack she is just lieing she just wants me to have all the blame!"  
  
"DO NOT!"  
  
"DO TOO!"  
  
(this goes on for several hours while jack is sobbing in the corner about being betrayed by his own first mate then they all stopped while looking to the sky)  
  
"BY DAVY JONES LOCKER....... WHAT THE ELL' IS THAT!" jack says while he lifted his tear streaked face to the sky...  
  
"Is that a plane?" jack says (blooper reel of the dvd)  
  
"Planes weren't invented yet you eunich!"animaria says  
  
"Were too!"  
  
"Were not!"  
  
( This also goes on for several hours)  
  
Well all of a sudden something that looked like a flying plate but several times bigger came and hovered over the water.  
  
All of the sudden WHAM! Animaria was gone!  
  
"Wow were did animaria go?" Gibbs says  
  
"Who cares you do have to remember that I have just escaped from the noose and am trying to make a valiant escape!" jack says  
  
"Well I think that it was a bit late for that captain!"  
  
"Well next stop Tortuga!"  
  
Well that is my first installment in the stories of "Pirates just wanna' have fun" Please look at that little purlp-y button at the bottom of the screen and be a good reviewer and REVIEW pweese? 


	2. ch2

Pirates just wanna have fun! Part II  
( theme song enters)  
  
Well kittys ...er....... Matyes what ave' you been up to during my long update? Well it hasn't gone to waste. You wont be disappointed. Now I will shut my skull and move on to the first tale. once again a bone chilling laugh  
  
An infamous pirate enters the place called the blacksmiths place. While at the same moment quiet a few years later(around a few hundred) the worlds greatest lover awaits at the top of a billboard to battle the best swordsman in the world. When in an instant there was a great flash almost like something from lightning.... Suddenly the greatest lover in the world Don Juan De Marco appears. He is very surprised that he appeared in a somewhat odd shop. Definatly not were he had been at the last moment.  
  
"Hello? Is anyone around to assist me in telling me were I might be? "he says in a very heavy Spaniard accent.  
  
All of the sudden the pirate jumped from hiding. And drew his cutlass as fast as he jump out.  
  
"I don't believe that you run this place do ya mate?" the pirate said noticing the Spaniards attire.  
"As in fact I do not senor. My name is Don Juan De Marco and yours?"  
  
Jack roughly sticks out his hand and in instinct Don Juan kissed it without realizing he was a man.  
  
"Bloddy ell' mate are you a eunich!" jack yelled feeling very violated  
  
"1000 apologies senor I am very accustom to doing so and forgot for a moment that I was not dealing with the other spiecies."  
  
"Well mate my name be Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack said but put his hand deep in his pocket.  
  
"As I can tell Senor De Marco you aren't around from here ....Spain perhaps?" Jack said trying as he always does to get info out of him for later arrangements as usual if the moment ever came.  
  
"Si Capitan Sparrow and I was not in this area a few moments ago.I was about to plunge to my death for my love never gave herself to me and for that I must die."  
  
"huh." Jack was thinking very deeply at the moment (the look were he was thinking in the jail cell with will) "Well then why man do you want to die when there are plenty other women you can woo?"  
  
"Capitan! A woman is not an object but a great treasure. She is not a something! She is a person that deserves the upmost respect you can not just simply woo a woman!" at the point Don Juan is enraged  
  
Well Eventually Don Juan gives Jack his speech on women and Jack is listening very intently.  
  
"Wow mate I never thought that....wow. You have a head on ye boy." Jack said utterly astounded  
  
"thank you capitan" Don Juan said very proud of his opinions  
  
"Well I have a proposition for ye mate" jack said proposingly  
  
"Yes senor Sparrow"  
  
"Ow' would you like to help me out?"  
  
from then on Don Juan had nothing better to do so he stayed for the whole movie!  
  
Hey guys I am sorry but I lead you guys on I can't really do 3 stories at every chappie. One its giving me a writers block....two if I did I would be longer time to wait. Three less chappies! Now we don't want that do we? Then again I don't know you. So please don't be mad!  
  
Your authoress  
Roxanne M 


	3. CHAPTER 3!

Hey people sorry about the late update but..Well never mind the problem. I forgot a lot  
  
Disclaimer: SO SORRY DISNEY I DON"T WANT A LAWSUIT!  
  
Disney: Well we'll forget about it as long as cough cough holds hand out  
  
Me. Darn... hands them a 20  
  
Me again: I don't own potc or any of its characters. DUH!  
  
Well to explain to you guys I am doing a part of the story with...dun dun dun! A Studio audience! Well you guys are it! Except I am going to type what you guys say.... Except I am saying it... or something like that......... on with the story!  
  
Pirates just wanna have fun part III  
(Theme song from Madonna. revised)  
  
Scene when Jack gets out of water after saving Elizabeth from drowning.  
  
Soldier 1: She's dead! NOOOO! Norrington will have our heads for this! starts sobbing  
  
Studio audience gasp Lady down in front starts to build up in tears.  
  
Jack: MOVE She's not dead you idiot! cuts corset off Elizabeth starts breathing  
  
Studio Audience: YAY! fangirls in back start gossiping about how Johnny is the best looking and most heroic man ever "Shut up you twits!" my English teacher Mr.Mcdougall who is quiet forced to be here the "manly man" throws popcorn at the girls and they abruptly shut it since they have him as a teacher and don't want to fail the semester  
  
Jack: looking quite proud of what he did with his chest puffed out  
  
Norrington and his soldiers show up with Governor Swann.  
  
Soldier 2: drops corset and points at Jack   
  
Studio audience: the audience is booing and hissing and throwing rotten vegetables at soldier 2  
  
Soldier 2: STOP IT starts crying you have no idea what I've been through! You know what it's like working with your brother!  
  
Studio audience: gasp once again  
  
Norrington: "Will you shut up and let me get on with it?!"  
  
Studio Audience: Double boo! starts throwing full grown watermelons at him  
  
Norrington: "You all can be so judgmental! Sobs and runs away  
  
Jack: "Well Thank you Audience you have saved me from a painful death." flashes famous grin  
  
Audience: Faints My English Teacher looks around and sees that he is the only man in this audience and starts to feel sick from in his opinion the sick and annoying grin starts chucking up in popcorn bucket  
  
Jack: "Well... since the scene didn't go right how do I exit? glances at water "No." glances at the dock "No." glances at the rope holding the cannon as originally planed "Sounds good to me." Jack pulls the rope and he flies up in the air and does what was originally planed. He gets to the part were he was supposed to use his irons to fly down the cord when he noticed it was incredibly dull when there were no soldiers to shoot at him "Well that stinks." Jack slides down the cord and jumps into the ocean and swims to the pearl.  
  
End Scene  
  
Listen I am sorry that this chappie is so short but I wanted to get it out there! So until next time adue!  
  
p.s REVEW! Pewees? 


	4. ch4

Guys I am really sorry (once again) for the incredibly long update but I was working on my "Lonely Heart" story and when they deleted all the "you " stories I was sort of... depressed? Well anyway here is the 4 installment of

Pirates Just Wanna Have Fun

(Madonna Song revised.. Jack dances around like a lunatic)

Scene starts out with Jack Sparrow at the noose.

"Jack Sparrow you have been charged with numerous crimes. The crimes are the following. Impersonating a cleric of the Church of England. Illegal ship parking."

"Hey what was I supposed to do it was bloody sinking!"

Evil crowd throws rotten vegetables at Jack

"No thanks I just ate." Jack says smartly but to no avail they keep throwing vegetables at him when they run out the start throwing anything else at him they can find. Bottles, clothes anything. Jack thought this got particularly interesting when the ladies did this. But to him unfortunately the undertaker made them stop before it got interesting. (lol)

"Can we PLEASE get on with this already?" The announcer got irritated.

"Well if you ask me...

"We weren't asking you."

"Well fine then." pouts

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Meanwhile at the governor seat!!!!!!!!!

"But Father he saved my life..Twice!" Elizabeth was trying to save Jacks life here. Where was that bloody crew when she needed them? Sees parrot

"Commodore Norrngton is bound by the law as are we all."

"Oh father give it a rest."

"Don't you talk that way with me young lady!"

"Father I am 18! And according to anyone else here. We all know you are responsible for your actions are able to do whatever you want at 18!"

"Well that means you would like to be at the noose with the pirate up there then. Is that what your saying?"

quiet

cough

"Hello there Mr. Turner." Governor Swann said

"Hello Governor Swann. Commodore. Elizabeth. I should've said this from the day I met you. I love you."

"Well excuse me Mr. Turner I don't know were your getting at but.."

"Er... sorry not you. I meant Elizabeth."

Governor pouts

Will walks away

Walks up to hangman and cuts head off

"Well that was easier than I thought it was going to be."

"I thank ye mate." Jack says as Will Cuts off the noose from Jacks neck.

"I think we got company." Jack says as they run off of the deck were they were standing and jumps on to the crowd and the crowd carries them across the yard on top in classic concert style.

"I think they like us." Will stated

"Maybe you but not me." They dropped Jack Half way over.

"Apparently they don't know you're a pirate." Jack said a bit sourly

"I am not a pirate!" Will un-sheathed his sword.

"Dammit man not now!"

"Oh...ok until later!"

Jack mutters eunich

Jack and Will run with Rope in hands and everything goes all ....matrix-y

I'm too lazy I am just gong to go to the part were he falls off

"And you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow."

Jack falls Seagulls catch him and start flying over to the pearl

"Never would've thought that." Everyone says in unison.

TBC

Hope you liked it! Till next time. Adue!

Please be responsible and Review?


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